What is Flattery?
Excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests:
- Excessive Praise
- Insincere Praise
- Primary Motive / Reason: To further one’s selfish interest
Praise is necessary in communicating with Kings, but it must be void of lies and selfish ambitions.
There is a difference between edification or encouragement and flattery
Flattery is for selfish gains; Edification is for selfless gains – to rather help the person not to get something in return.
Reasons Why People Flatter
1. To deceive for selfish ambitions
1 Thessalonians 2:1-5
1 For yourselves, brethren, know our entrance in unto you, that it was not in vain:
2 But even after that we had suffered before, and were shamefully entreated, as ye know, at Philippi, we were bold in our God to speak unto you the gospel of God with much contention.
3 For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile:
4 But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts.
5 For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor a cloke of covetousness; God is witness:
2. To identify or develop weakness or vulnerability in a person
3. The language of covetousness
4. Out of the compulsion to feed itchy ears
- Some women always want to hear things about how good looking they are etc.
- Some girls pick boyfriends based on the flattery that the boys tell them lo and behold they even threaten their husbands that if you dont tell me how nice i am and another man tells me dont blame me if i fall for him
- Avoid Flattery
Where to Find Flattery
1. It is the Language of the Wicked or Unbeliever
8 Lead me, O Lord, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face.
9 For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue.
When people with you are unfaithful, one sign is flattery.
Be careful about those who are always showering excessive praise
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2. It is the Language of Double-hearted people
1 Help, Lord; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men.
2 They speak vanity every one with his neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak.
3 The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things:
Pray against double-heartedness at your workplaces
3. It is the Language of Betrayers
19 He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
4. Self-flattery is an Indicator of an Advanced Level of Pride
1 The transgression of the wicked saith within my heart, that there is no fear of God before his eyes.
2 For he flattereth himself in his own eyes, until his iniquity be found to be hateful.
Never forget that pride leads to a fall
18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
5. Flattery is the Signature Tune of the Strange Woman;
The strange woman is the downfall of the simple man void of understanding.
16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.
18 For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead.
- Never go near a strange woman; she has the capacity to derail your destiny.
- It happened to the wisest man who ever lived – Solomon
- The strange woman is a feminine spirit who attacks both men and women but mostly women.
- It is not the woman’s fault, a certain spirit is attacking through her because of her weakness.
- Avoid Flattery
5 That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.
6 For at the window of my house I looked through my casement,
7 And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding,
8 Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house,
9 In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:
10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.
11 (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:
12 Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)
13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,
14 I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.
15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.
16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.
19 For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:
20 He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.
21 With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.
22 He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;
Effects of Flattery
1. Generational Poverty
5 He that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the eyes of his children shall fail.
A curse – They shall walk blindly; struggle on the earth
2. Divine Judgement
21 Let me not, I pray you, accept any man’s person, neither let me give flattering titles unto man.
22 For I know not to give flattering titles; in so doing my maker would soon take me away.
Elihu in Answering Job and His 3 friends says this
3. Self Pride and Destruction
How to Overcome Flattery
1. Exercise control over your mouth by speaking less
2. Don’t say anything you do not really mean – don’t put your mouth on auto pilot
3. Do not encourage flattery – tell people to stop it when they try to praise you – tell them you don’t like that with a stern warning not a shy voice.
4. Pray against the spirit of flattery
5. Accept wrongs and rebuke and stop subconsciously searching for people who only say nice things to you even when you are wrong.
6. Always direct every praise to God – make it your language and habit
7. Get wisdom
20 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
21 Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.
22 When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.
23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:
24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
You can never be older than your level of wisdom; you can never be older than the level of revelations from the Holy spirit
so humble yourself and learn
Prayer About Flattery
1. Ask for forgiveness
2. Deliver me from flattery
3. Fill me with wisdom against the plots of flattery
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